the simple minded suburbanite


#2 Patience. 5 Transcendent Principles
February 16, 2012, 1:29 pm
Filed under: authenticity, suburban, voluntary simplicity | Tags: ,

“The opposite of patience is aggression_-the desire to jump and move, to push against our lives, to try to fill up space…sitting there, standing there, we can allow the space for the usual habitual thing not to happen.”  Pema Chodron When Things Fall Apart. 5 transcendent principles.

This is tough for me.  I am a woman of action.  I was taught to act, exert, and take control yet I have learned, in my darkest of hours, to sit and just be.

I recently had a devastating thing happen.  Someone I love made some serious accusations, ones that cut to my heart, caused (and still causes) pain and confusion.  My initial thought was to respond, act, prove against, defend, convince but instead I drew in.  I chose quiet.  I chose meditation.  I chose patience and trust in the universe and the goodness of all things and openness to the answers that would come to me.  I was patient with myself and the process.

Unfortunately, the persons who started the chain of events did not take kindly.  They chose to “fill up the space” with aggression, further accusations, perceptions, and action.  Again, I found myself wanting to respond, release poison at the injustice, the loose logic, their egoic untruth.  Instead, I chose no response and tried (and keep trying) to avoid judgement.  I was, again, patient with the process, patient and respectful of where my soul needed to be in order to stay open, receive, and heal.  I am on a journey to extending that same patience to them, have trust in their process and their own healing that brought them to this place of need.

It is not easy to sit here.  Sitting does not mean in-action or passivity.  It means that I cannot control all things, fix all injustices, mend all personal wounds.  It does mean that I am patient enough to receive the healing, the good that should come from this,  the falling away of scabs.  I am not allowing the usual things to happen.  I am making room for the unusual, the divine, the unexpected.  I am saying to the universe, “Surprise me!”

How do you gently deny the urge to fill up a space?

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